I've been trying to put writing a post aside for a long while now but I feel it has gotten to the point where it needs to be done. I have 21 minutes before I am officially late, and in those 21 minutes I am determined to write this blog post. I'm not a very dedicated person. I'll try to start something, get bored of it, then stop doing it. I've done this ever since I was little, from learning how to play the ukulele to trying to stay fit (This I do not recommend, I would much rather stay at home, nestled in a blanket burrito, watching American Horror Story). However, I think everyone must be like this, to an extent. It is human nature to just lose interest in certain things. We all have had hobbies which we quit in the past that now leave a sense of regret and loss. I don't know what has suddenly sparked these thoughts, I think it may be the insomnia of staying in a place where I don't feel at home. I've been up almost every night this week, until at least 3.30 am, thinking and regretting a lot of things which I have done in the past. Every night I am drifting off with the determination of in my mind, I will do this tomorrow and I will be committed. Something in me knows that this is never going to happen. I'm not going to be able to suddenly change the way I act, or speak, or even think because it is who I am. This is neither a good thing not a bad thing, it is simply the way life works. Blogging is one of these little tasks. Altogether, I love it. I love the bloggers, the creativity, the photos, the scrolling through post after post looking into snippets of peoples thoughts and lives. What stops me from completely loving it is my lack of motivation. I overuse the excuse, I do not have a proper camera, therefore, I can't take pictures. Although this is true, I have a perfectly good phone to take photos on, a laptop to edit them and access to the internet to post them. What I do not have is the drive. I don't want to do it. I don't want to put in the effort. Simple as. I say that, but there are other factors mixed in with this which all slowly build up. My lack of confidence to take pictures of myself in public, incase people judge me or laugh. The fact that when I do take pictures 90% of them I hate and refuse to put anywhere near the internet. Maybe this could be classed as an irrational fear; that behind my back everybody laughs at me because I'm not as pretty as other bloggers out there. My writing isn't as good as others people's might be. This may true, it might not be. But I will never know for certain because I doubt someone is going to tell me it straight up how it is. Again this is purely human nature. I think I may have to come up with a conclusion to this abnormally long blog post, which to me is always the most difficult part of writing, but I'll give it a go.
Therefore, as I sit here encased in the warmth of the Greek evening sun. Feeling a strong appreciation for the lyrics of Oblivion by Bastille. With 3 minutes to spare and less than 18% of battery left. I know I won't ever be the most committed person in the world, I will get bored of things, come back to them, then get bored again. But I'm young and I'm still learning, I'll make mistakes. I'll try new things. I'll give up some of the old ones. I don't need stick to the same hobbies I've had all my life. Change is necessary. If I'm not happy with who I am I can try to change it, it may not always work but I can try. I don't live and breathe to make myself what other people want me to be. I am my own person. My conclusion is, you don't need to stick to the same things all your life to be happy, no matter what other people say. You can always do something new. You are your own person and you live your own life.
I felt as if i had to get that off my chest as it had been loitering in my head for days on end and i just had to get some of it written down. I apologise for my excessive ramblings. On another note, here are a few of the pictures i have taken so far documenting my little holiday adventure. I should have an outfit post up in the next week or so before the gorgeous Gwen cuts off my limbs and hangs them off a washing line. Until next time my lovelies.